Game of War: Fire Age - Review

Kate Upton. Have you heard of her? If the advertisers of Game of War Fire Age have their way, then there’s absolutely no escaping the 22 year old Sports Illustrated starring supermodel. In the middle of your favourite TV Show the chances are you’ve seen her advertising Game of War, and during the Super Bowl, one of the most lucrative advertising spots on the planet featured a 31 second trailer of Kate naked in a bath, and for what reason? To get people playing this iOS app that we’re reviewing here, Game of War: Fire Age.

Game of War - Fire Age
Image courtesy of

According to, $40 million of advertising budget was blown on bagging Kate to market this game, as well as spreading advertising links to the app across Twitter, Facebook and any website which allows your cookies to be sniffed for relevant advertising campaigns. Hell, is probably trying to get you to download the game right this second in one of our ads, such is the ubiquitous nature of the Game of War advertising campaign.

So where’s the link? Why are Dragon Zoo interested in Game of War and why is a website about dragons reviewing an iOS app about war and seemingly er…Kate Upton? Well, mainly because of false advertising that’s why.

Have you ever heard of misrepresentation through advertising? Well it’s ironic that in trying to find the very best of everything there is for fans of dragons across all multimedia, Dragon Zoo itself has fallen foul of an advertising campaign. One little TV Spot for Dragon Age had us excited, and no, seriously, it wasn’t because it had a supermodel in the trailer. It was because it had a bloody great big seven headed dragon in it that’s why! We wanted to play that game! We wanted to have a massive army in our control and send them against the odds, against huge dragons with obscene weapons of war. It looked epic. We didn’t care about Kate, we weren’t swayed by the supermodel jerk-off baiting tactics, we wanted epic dragon wars in a free iOS app that’s what.

So we downloaded the app because apparently somewhere, at some point, in this game, there’s dragons. But we’re going to be extremely honest here… they’re very well hidden so far.

In our first ten minute gameplay review video we see how the game mechanics work and what the game looks like, and since that point, we’ve been playing for SEVENTY TWO HOURS. That’s right. About 12 hours of gameplay over a 72 hour period and… Still. No. Dragons.

When we downloaded this game from the app store, as well as the extremely well made ad, we were shown this picture.

Game of War - Fire Age

Forget the stupid blonde bimbo or the chatting with friends functionality already! We were excited about the great big fire breathing dragon and the promise of ONLINE WAR! And whilst as soon as you log into the game Kate’s smirking face is thrust in front of you (as well as about 90 adverts suggesting you pay money for in-game extras), there’s no dragons in sight. Anywhere.

So we persisted. You see, here at Dragon Zoo we’re nothing if not committed to bringing you lot, the dragon fans, our reviews and intellectual insights into everything about dragons. So we carried on playing. And playing. And playing. Our empire in the game which we catchily called Dragon Zoo, got smashed to pieces multiple times since our 24 hour “peace shield” subsided. But we carried on. We persisted, all in the name of researching dragons for our loyal readership.

And so far…nilch, nadda, nothing. No dragons, no fiery breath. In fact, the only flames we’ve seen are in our own empire, from the ruins of our farms, quarries and mines, repeatedly beaten to a pulp by better more accomplished players. (OR, jackasses that spend too much of their hard earned money on game add-ons.)

So this is it. No longer is this a simple, single page review of an iOS app about war, dragons, point and click, empire building, forming alliances and patience (lots of patience) but a full-on diary. A mission. An objective. We’re going to keep playing this ridiculous wallet baiting game until we see one of these allusive dragons. Because we care. We want dragon fans to know just how long they need to invest before they see that advert look anywhere near accurate.

So, to see how we get on, and to find out about all other dragon related news, games, anime, comics, books, movies , TV Shows and iOS apps, follow us on our YouTube Channel, Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter and for more dragon videos, reviews and updates.

Check out our video review of this article here:

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